Cindarella or Step Sister?

I'm pretty sure I have a tina diva of a daughter already. You think not, do you? Well, let me present two pieces of evidence here:

1. Titled: "Gimme, Gimme--I'm the Fairest of them All."

2. Titled: "Of COURSE My Sunday School Teacher Told You that I Get the Cute Shoes of the Day Award"

Sick Day

A couple of weeks ago, both of our children got sick pretty much simultaneously. I worked the first part of the morning, so Bryan was in charge. Here is a comparative study of the difference between the sick day when Mommy's in charge and the sick day when Daddy's at the helm:

Daddy starts the day off with a quick "errand" that he had to run to pick up something from storage. Half an hour later I call to tell him that Juliet has started throwing up and I have to go pick her up from school (we thought only Robby as sick at first). When I ask where they are, I get only evasive answers. Then, these picks show up in my email...

At this point, they have made it home and Mommy is now in charge.

I'm not sure what to make of this stark difference, but I am just sure that there is a profound revelation about parenting and the differences in our roles somewhere in this day.

For the Yearbook File...

I was having a kind of hard day today, and then tonight I came across this picture that I had never seen on Bryan's phone. Suddenly, I'm feeling much better. Seriously--this kid is awesome.

True story--I've got him going around with my old iPhone saying, "Tutoring, this is Bryan!" in the exact same tone that we are constantly hearing from Big B himself. It never gets old :)

Oceanfront Property in Arizona

I have been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Suckered by false promises. Look at that neat organization system. Lids within lids! Compartments! Bright colors! That lunch says to me--baby mayhem has been contained. Wrangled in. Handled. I have my cheese cubes in a separate tray from the turkey cubes, and both are separate containers from the strawberry pieces. The crackers are in a fancy container that allows little hands to go in and grab but prevents crackers from falling out otherwise.

False. Lies, I tell you, lies! I took that container and shook it upside down as hard as I could and nothing came out but a few crumbs. I'm not gonna lie. I felt impressed. I felt like the master of my domain--a mother who has finally come into her own. Then, Robby looked up from Disaster Zone 4 (also known as his place at the dinner table) and announced that he needed a cracker. Bryan gamely handed him the container. I think it took all of 5.7 seconds for him to figure out how to dump a substantial amount of crackers on the floor without removing the lid. The container is not toddler proof--it's parent proof.

Tomorrow when Juliet sits down to eat her lunch, how long will it take her to destroy the order that I have commanded with her lunch? Well, just about as long as it takes me to get the 15 lids off I would guess. :)

A Daughter's Plea

Dear Mommy,

I am now 9 months old, and I think it is time that we have our first serious mother-daughter heart to heart. I have to tell you something that you are not going to like. You might not even believe me at first, but I think that once I reveal the various pieces of evidence, you will have to accept the truth.

Gosh, this is harder to say than I thought it would be.....okay, here goes. Mommy, I do not feel that I should be labelled or treated as a baby any longer. I am going to show you that I am at least as grown up as my brother, and perhaps even more mature in many ways.

First, I now have my own toothbrush, and unlike my brother I actually love to brush my three teeth. In fact, my toothbrush is my accessory of choice most of the time. I even brush at the grocery store when the option affords it.

This leads to my second point, which is that I am now eating table foods just like everyone else. Sure my ham bits and cheese cubes seem to litter the floor more than make their way into my stomach, but that's not the point! The point is that I don't eat baby food nearly as often any more. So, I must not really be a baby after all. And, I am at least as capable as Robby of making a very good sized mess with a relatively small amount of food.

I also have a sippy cup of my very own that I am learning to use, and when I do use a bottle I finally hold it myself without your assistance.

I am also standing without assistance for good stretches of time and cruising along the furniture very quickly, which allows me to find and procure many items of interest that you seem to feel I am not grown up enough to chew on. Please, mommy, just let me chew on the wipes, the cat hair, the electric cords, Robby's shoe. I know what I am doing, and I consider these exercises crucial to my daily happiness.

I have very sophisticated taste in books. My brother might still like Curious George, but I have moved right into the more complex world of Shel Silverstein (oh the tears I have shed over the cruel fate of the lovelorn Giving Tree!)

Now, I have presented my case. I believe that the evidence speaks for itself. As such, it might be a good time for you and Daddy to discuss an allowance. Just think about it.

Etiquette Lessons Part 2 of 2

For Robby a big part of the etiquette that he is learning right now is how to drink out of big boy cups. My assistant etiquette instructor performed this particular lesson. As you can see, Robby really is a natural. My children are well on their way to being prepared for any formal dining situation, if I do say so myself.

Etiquette Lessons Part 1 of 2

I firmly believe in teaching my children good manners. Knowing how to be ladylike while sitting at a table can really make a good impression. Though she is only 9 months old, I think this video really illustrates how quickly Juliet is learning these important skills.

Joy Ride

So, today we went to the Farmer's Market to get some fresh fruit and veggies. Then, on the way home Robby and Juliet were laughing like a pack of wild hyenas in the backseat. We were unsure what the cause was, but that is nothing unusual--they often laugh together without us being in on the joke.

When we got home, I guess you could say we caught them red-handed. And, boy was Juliet red in the face.

Apparently, Robby decided to share one of his strawberries with his sister. Apparently, she likes strawberries.

Cleanup on Aisle 4 anyone?